I have been guided by Spirit to fully share my story of the weight struggle in a very shortened version. I have recently dropped 45 pounds in the last six months without even realizing that it was happening. It is a magical moment in history for me and when you read the entire background I share, maybe you can understand the dynamics of this event in my life.
There has never been a time in my life that I was not concerned with how much I weighed. At the age of seven, I was pathetically skinny and sick with tonsillitis so my parents opted to have my tonsils removed. What transpired from the time forward is a struggle that many people deal with internally and externally. I am sharing in hopes that others can understand their own weight issues and give themselves some patience and love.
After the surgery, my weight escalated through my pre-teen years. As most of us have experienced, the family situation was dysfunctional but very loving. I took on the role of being a care-taker as I was the 4th child with sisters who had children. I never learned to nurture myself in the way I should have and I hold no blame to anyone for these years. I spent time in Inner Child work so I could understand the process.
So I put a protective wall around my skin to help me cope with elements that I could not deal with. It does not matter what these are in this timeline, but then, it was a challenge. I grew up on a lake and was very active in both the winter and summer months. I put extreme weight on my limbs especially my hips and thighs. Through the years I exercised continually and was on the yo-yo syndrome of dieting. Without the exercise I believe that my weight would have escalated even more. It was my savior for a very long time, and I enjoyed it immensely.
About 20 years ago I was married to a man who was a health professional, and I learned that certain foods were taboo for me. I also had some physical problems including a low Thyroid condition. There were times I was without the medication and the weight would shift unbelievably. I learned to do strength training and aerobics which helped me survive. I literally had problems removing the higher numbers on the scale but I could reduce my inches in a matter of weeks. It was a struggle. I have always had an hour-glass type of figure so my waist was much smaller than my hips.
I went through self-help tapes and books which helped me to visualize myself at a lower weight while I was exercising and meditating. I listened to audio tapes for hours on end. I also went completely off of dairy in the late 80’s and the health food diet escalated from there. I removed many products off of my list including all white flours and sugars. I learned how to cook very alternatively which truly assisted my state of living.
I realized that the Thyroid medicine was not helping me and on the advice of a herbalist, I was able to remove myself from the medication. I was told that it would be extreme and great diligence would be needed. I learned how to brew up fresh herbs for a tea and expanded my range of vitamins and minerals in my diet. It was extreme and if I had not been unemployed at the time, well, I don’t think I would have been able to achieve what I did. I kept up with the regimen for several years as my energies needed the extra nutrients. Eventually, my thyroid tests started showing as normal and I knew I had changed my life completely.
In the meantime my weight escalated even though I was watching everything I was eating. I would go through periods of extreme frustration and go off the diet by eating healthy snacks that still were not quite diet material. I really hate that word diet as aren’t we all on a diet? Our food is our diet. I was told that once by a science teacher when I was about 11 years of age and it is so true.
I then started having issues with edema with my menstrual cycles which added insult to injury. Now I was not only holding onto the weight but the water retention was relentless. I started purging my issues deeply trying to grasp why the weight was staying on the body. I would exercise heavily and when on the floor, I would be in tears as I realized I was releasing the pain that was being held in the legs through the cellular level. I remember issues of my past and they were leaving me little by little. I continued this process for many years. I would exercise heavily and drop massive amounts of inches but only a few pounds. I looked great but it has always been a big challenge.
I fully connected with Spirit with each step of the way as that is my life. They kept telling me that the water issue was helping me to ground myself to this Earth. I could understand the process but it was challenging to fully accept that I chose this body type in order to do this work and stay on the Earth. In March of 2008 I had a bad car accident in which I was saved to still live on this Earth. That was another challenge but yet I knew there was more to my existence than Just Existing and Sharing the Messages.
In 2011 Lord Adama who is the High Priest of Telos told me that I would be moving toMt.Shastain the summer months but he would let me know when it was time. In the meantime I met a man who I became friends with and he fully helped me to ground on this earth. I knew that I needed male companionship to stay on this Earth but did not have any idea how it would happen. He and I parted for a short time, and I prepared to move toMt.Shasta.
In July I packed my car with a cat and traveled 3,000 miles to the other side of the country. This was not an easy task and right beforehand, I created an infection in one of my veins on my right leg. I knew it was a huge problem so I delved into my herbal remedies and vitamins to help me get through this process. The leg was inflamed and of course, it was my driving leg. The trip was not easy with this problem now activated within my life. I arrived in early August no worse for the wear but the leg still a major issue. I fully took care of myself and started my new life. I had some friends visit and my hiking was minimal because of the leg issue. I learned to deal with it.
It was not until Merlin came to me and told me to go toCastleLake. I was to swim to a certain point where there was a vortex in which I would receive healing for the leg. I did so and he was exactly right. The leg greatly improved and I was able to start to hike and exercise. I did my usual task of taking my measurements so I could chart my progress. My friend, Mike, decided to visit in late September. I was able to hike but still had extreme problems due to the weight issue. Nothing would stop me from being on this majestical mountain.
Well, Mike left and then he came back as we decided that we needed to partner our work together. I continued my exercise but never knew how much I weighed as I did not have a scale. We also did mineral baths periodically which help tremendously in reducing the extra inches especially in my legs. By the end of the year I had a reduction of 18 inches in total. I noticed that my clothes were fitting differently. In fact a pair of jeans I wore was extremely loose but I paid no attention to any of this.
Mike and I have developed a full relationship of love and partnership which I know was the resulting factor. Spirit had told me that I would loose the weight inMt.Shastaand that when it left, it would go quickly. They were not kidding.
We went to the baths two weeks ago and I got up the courage to stand on the scale. This was something I truly did not want to do. Okay, the weight had escalated to a point that I thought I would never be able to loose it all. I stepped up and moved the scale to the point I thought I was at. Low and behold it was too heavy. I started moving it downwards and it went 10, 20, 30, 40, and 41, 42, 43, 44 and 45 pounds less. I choose not to share how much this was as it is still extremely high but I am at a point that now, I can deal with moving the rest of it. I was so excited to see this happen that I got on the scale and off again very quickly. It was correct…whew…I felt this sigh of relief. I went into the bath and cried my heart out.
So without even worrying how much I was letting go of in the weight department, it was leaving me. I have found a new life here in Shasta and I am now able to feel happy to be on this Earth fully grounded. I am with a man that adores me no matter how much I weighed, but so happy to see me reduce the weight. I always hated myself for the way I looked. I hated to have pictures taken of me even though I consider myself a very attractive woman. All pictures were at the waist and above which is a normal weight for me…
I worked hard to get to this point and I removed years and years of pain that I put onto my body. I protected myself from pain but yet fully created more pain for myself. I created this body so I could stay on this Earth and do this work. Mike reminds me of this every day. I am so excited to have this occur for me that I needed to share with each of you. I am putting myself in a vulnerable position but it is time to acknowledge what I have accomplished.
I now feel I am at a weight in which I can remove the rest of it with ease and grace. My diet is organic, no wheat or white flours or sugars. I do not starve myself and am probably eating more now than I ever did. Sometimes I felt I was not eating enough but living alone, I did not cook regularly. I did power shakes and am now off of all non dairy milk except for Coconut as my body will not tolerate Soy, Rice or Almond. Quite a big change for me.
My advice to those of you who are struggling with your weight is to look within first. You cannot loose it and keep it off without taking care of the baggage of why you held onto it. I worked psychologically for many years through this process and am so glad that I did. I am now fully content with who I am, who I have become, and am deeply loved not only by myself but by an amazing man who shows me every day. Without his love of me I doubt if I would be writing these words but we create our own reality and I CREATED HIM IN MY LIFE. Now how beautiful is that…it is amazing to share with you my beautiful essence inside and out.
Stay tuned for the next round of finding my perfect “ME”.
Love and Blessings,